"Only Two Words", Moscov, 2022.....

Let me give you the best advice I can give when looking for a hitman. Don’t hire a hitman. There is no such thing. Every single “hitman” is an undercover cop, and every single dark web hiring hitmen websites is an undercover sting operation by the feds, or whatever your countries government is. I have never ever seen a single story in my entire life where someone actually hired a hitman. I have only EVER seen a person get arresting for trying to hire a hitman, and the hitman was an undercover cop. I would say that it will depend a lot on who you want to kill and why. If it was a close family member that would be hard. I think the best thing you could do is try and separate them from everyone else in their life, and then after a couple years say they are mentally ill and get them permanently institutionalized. It’s far easier to cover up and far more legal than murder, but murder is much easier and quicker. I would say try and find something that they can be naturally exposed to that is a toxin. You could also take a small hit to get away with the big heist. Find a super deadly plant, like nightshade, and cook them a dinner and poison them. Make up a reason as to why you can’t eat it, play the fool in court, saying things like, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it was poison, I didn’t want to kill my wife/daughter/parent/sister!” followed by crying. (You will have to learn how to fake cry for this btw. If it’a a close friend you can also do this too. If it’s a distant friend, or even acquaintance, then just cut them out of your life. If it’s a rando you don’t like who works at a restaurant or cafe you like going to then just get them fired so you don’t have to experience them anymore. It’s actually very easy to fabricate evidence that they stole something from you. DO NOT, however, falsely claim rape if they are a man. That’s a grave sin. That’s like using a nuke on an armored car. It’s way too much force, and ends up causing untold amounts of unnecessary damage. The big thing to keep in mind is only do what’s necessary, and that murder should be your last option. If all else fails just get up and move. There is no law in existence to my knowledge that states that you must live with family until you die, and you can cut pretty much everyone out of your life through pretty radical means. If you really hate your family or close friends that much, then just get up and move somewhere else, don’t tell them, and get a new phone. Delete all social media too, so they can’t track you. If it’s someone in politics you are sol though. The odds of some ordinary dude getting not only a clean shot on a political figure, but also bringing a weapon with sufficient killing power with you when you get that clean shot is astronomically low. By the way, this advice is all in good fun. I don’t condone doing any of this actually in real life. This was all just speculative. A bit of a thought exercise for a tired mind if you will.

/r/Unexpected Thread Parent Link - v.redd.it