The fact that the person who is grieving aggressively sought you out and kept pushing, even when you told her you didn’t care, in order to force you to share her grief is a pretty big extenuating circumstance. Also, I’m not sure it was cold. It sounds like the OOP was trying to get away from the conversation and frantically lashing out (and he mentioned he was “a little drunk and high”). It sounds like it was very much said in the heat of the moment. And it doesn’t seem like he’s trying to defend it as much as he’s trying to get advice on how to make his family back off when he’s already said he wants no contact with them.