We have a 1 year old and my SO quit CT first. I stayed on kratom and picked up the slack while she was basically out of commission for a couple weeks. When she started to feel better, I tried CT (for the fourth or fifth time) and just couldn’t hack it. I’d been on about 60gpd for the last year, slightly less for the two years before that. CT just felt impossible. I read up on tapering and much preferred the idea of spreading the misery out over a longer period. Longer, yes, but not such intense misery that I’d use again.
Each of us is different, of course, but if you can stay self-disciplined enough to stick to a taper, it might be your best way out. I can’t imagine keeping up with three kids while doing CT. Maybe you could do it, but at a dose as high as you’re used to, I’d at least taper for a few weeks before jumping off. I went from 60gpd down to 2gpd over about 2 months and it really wasn’t that bad. Going slow was the key for me - letting me physiologically and psychologically adjust. Having a SO who had already quit CT was certainly a motivator, as was our 1 year old - nothing like kids to hold a mirror up to you and make you want to make changes.
You can do this. It felt insurmountable to me for so long, but I’m so glad I started the taper. The longer it went, the more encouraged and motivated I felt. Now I’m at 10 days since jumping off completely and definitely never going back. I feel like I’m slowly waking up from a three year daydream.
It’s very possible to kick a heavy kratom habit. Sounds like you’re ready, too.