I already took my medication, so I don't need professional help.

About 17 years ago I went to a Pentecostal church, there was a pastor there who had a tendency to scream and yell nonsense about fire and brimstone, using if-then statements incorrectly, speaking in tongues, using basic words like "because" incorrectly. It was the craziest nonsense you might ever see outside of a mental institution, the place there was full of freaks with incredibly malfunctional brains, people running on maybe 5% mental operating capacity, I was just a young man at the time, but I was smart enough to back out slowly. Reading the first few paragraphs of your site put me back in that pew 17 years ago.

If you see Jehovahs Witnesses or apologists of one of the big three religions standing guard at their pamphlet Kiosk in hashtag crowded place, don't speak to them. Their target market is people who can't put together a rational argument or think in a coherent line.

Another blockade to your edification is your automatic rejection of psychoanalysis. That's going to be a ball and chain that holds you back. A limitation placed there by your previous owners.

You retaliate like a drowning dog bites the hand that reaches down to pull it out. I expect more from illuminated beings. You brought your car into the shop, and the mechanic gave you a repair list as long as your arm, getting angry at the mechanic is your irrational pride, another problem you'll need to address before you get up to my level.