Others who did not know at an early age?

Sorry for tidal wave of text. Tl;dr No, but also Yes.

I was just blissfully out of touch with gender issues as a child, largely thanks to a conservative upbringing, oddly enough. Never knew what else genitals could look like; never questioned whether my ideas about sex were "normal" because it wasn't discussed. My parents really pushed for me to be girly but I knew not all girls were that way. I was solitary by nature and never fit in with one gendered "clique" over the other. I had interests people don't strongly conflate with gender (science, dinosaurs, robot toys, cycling). I was never really led to question it.

Puberty was a bit of a wake up call. At first, short undersized me thought "oh I'm getting breasts now, cool, people won't mistake me for an 8 year old anymore." But as time went on it started to trouble me. I'd somehow never pictured the adult me as a woman. I had plenty of female role models; i just didn't see them as examples of my adult self the way I did the men. I dealt with it by alternately ignoring what I looked like and trying to picture myself as the person other people could see and act accordingly. But I actually lucked out during the first phase of puberty. I occasionally got "sir"'d when people didn't look right at me, which made me happy. The boobs and other female features were very subtle and easy for me to ignore. People thought I was weird for being obsessed with getting bigger/taller and getting my voice to hit those low notes.

I said first phase of puberty because the second half hit me like a train at the age of 24. Very odd. I definitely felt scammed by mother nature. Within 6 months my bust size doubled, fat started packing on my hips, and even the texture of my skin changed noticeably. I did not take it well. For the first time I couldn't just forget biological sex. Sometimes I wouldn't leave the house all day because of it. Worst of all, people noticed and "complimented" me and that could ruin my day. That was when I started connecting the dots and realising it was gender dysphoria. Well I'd had the idea in the back of my mind a long time, just didn't want to confront it. I was actually obsessed with werewolves and other shapeshifting monsters as as a teen. Not any particular books or shows, just the fantasy of changing to a ferocious flesh eating beast. I'd imagine running off never to be seen again. The connection to that idea is obvious to me now. I still introduce myself to people as a werewolf just for kicks.

Transitioning would mean losing everyone I love so that's out of the question. To be honest i also dont have the guts to do it and i dont rhink id pass anyway. I deal by forgetting everything I was told growing up about how people would ostracise me for being androgynous, and proceed to live as your friendly neighborhood suspiciously-masculine lady dude. Just doing that much has alleviated a ton of anxiety I didn't pinpoint the source of before.

/r/asktransgender Thread