Why "others will not love you if you don't love yourself" is bullshit and why you need to stop saying it

People can be very fickle, and it's a bit of a shit shoot whether or not we find people who will accept us at that time, regardless of how we feel about ourselves. The value of good self-esteem is real, but does it mean that a person who likes themselves will attract positive attention from others? I don't think so necessarily. I think the biggest factors in attracting the right people are 1) how good we are at socialising (which is subjective, see 3), 2) our appearance, and 3) the kinds of people we're around.

Let's keep loving ourselves though, otherwise we become trapped in relying on the inconsistent praise and criticism from others. Good self-esteem is something we can all fall back on, but let's not fool ourselves, it doesn't suddenly change the game.

/r/lonely Thread