Your story sounds like a slightly more complicated/abusive situation to mine recently. Never married, but still together for 5 years. The same kind of comments of not loving or wanting to be with anymore. Me oblivious to how bad she was apparently feeling. Even if I perceived a "slump" of just being with someone for so long, I didn't think things were particularly bad. We started in an open relationship, but I'm not quite convinced she was terribly adept at handling it, but we talked or powered, what I thought was through, the tougher times.

Everyone has to decide for themselves how they want to walk the fine line between hope and trust in their relationships and the degree of emotional turmoil it's causing or caused you. In a sense, you're screwed either way because you'll still care about her if you're apart, but you'll always remember all the shit when you're together. I literally don't think anyone has solved this problem to any degree in a way that doesn't rest in a lot of personal resolve and perspective about the true degrees of how bad it can feel. It's a sad kind of joke that to keep talking is worth it, to leave and save yourself or kid is worth it, or to respect her wishes and try to ride out her ups and downs is worth it.

I hope you can root yourself in the same kind of sentiment that helps me. "The only truth is change." The feelings can change, the fighting can stop, the confusion can disappear, and any number of things can enter your life. Right now is perfectly terrible as well as anything else you want it to be.