Out of control husband

  • nudes = He will never leak the nudes, even he made you believe he will, but he will NEVER do it ; they will destroy him as much as they would hurt you, Because if he cares about you becoming a housewife so much that he is ready to blackmail you, it means he REALLY doesn't want anyone to say "Hey! I saw your wife's xxx !" it will destroy HIM! so the "leaking of those nudes" is one of his many dark fears!! ((and BTW even if people say "I saw your ex-wife's xxx !" it may hurt him even more!!))

Everybody got some dirt , so the fact that he made the effort to collect yours doesn't mean that doesn't have some nasty stuff he doesnt want nobody to see!

find that dirt and hide it away and when you have enough , threaten to call the cops on him for that!!

and dont say "I call the cops so they find those pictures of me you have!" but do say "I will call the cops about your OOO , and by the way, if I do, they will also find those disgusting pictures of me you have!" (also even he says it before you , like "if you call them they will find your pics as well" , tell him that you don't care anymore!! and if you are going down then both of you will !!)

so here the cops are your allies, and in case you don't want your family to know , then tell the cops you don't want your family to know , they will put some legal restrictions on your husband etc

so now, the nudes are out of the way.

  • taking bad about people = as long as he didn't record you , there is no threat , just deny it , or say he is lying or say he misunderstood you ; and even if he did record you , just say it has been taken out of context! a little imagination will help you here ; because it is all about the context!! saying an "aunt is ugly" is bad , but saying "an aunt is ugly because of that green dress" is good because it shows you care , especially if you bring her another dress! ; so you gotta lie a little bit in this one to protect yourself from this freak.

  • where he comforted you during your mental breakdowns = that's his job !! , he is your husband he is supposed to do that!! if he is petty then HE. IS. NOT. A. MAN!

he seems to have guilt-trip-ped your into becoming a housewife by force , which is haram, so if he has the audacity to do that , then there is no moral restictions on you not to follow that path too! , if he is guilt-tripping you then you have to act ungrateful to him too ! but do it in a subtle manner , don't say "yeah you comforted me so what?" but do let him say whatever he s got to say and win that brief battle , but from that point on you gotta win the rest of the battles (it is that way that you will win the war) , again, in a subtle manner!

(if he buys food cook 'em half bad then spoil his favourite dishes and say you forgot ;

if he buys you new clothes then only wear your older bad looking ones especially in public and say that the new ones are still in the washer ;

if he has an appointment in the morning then don't wake him up and say that you did but he told you in sleep to not wake him up! ; etc etc )

and if he ever asks you if you did any of that on purpose , say NO! and deny everthing! say it is your period or hormones or any of the like

  • complaining about others = so what? they really do small bad! you have an opinion it is your right as a person !! don't give up on it!

  • conclusion=

it is not so difficult, if he continues call the cops they will protect your anonymity thats their job (and he says the opposite , know that he s a lier and he is afraid too!)

/r/MuslimMarriage Thread