You have to find "safe" people. That takes time to figure out. I have all sorts of friends.

Jess is a One Upper: If I tell her my cat died, she's raises me with "Well, I lost a cat AND a Dog a two years ago" NOT SAFE. Not close with her either.

Kate is a Tenser: Tells her something bad that happened and she tenses up because she doesn't want to hear it. NOT SAFE. Still friends with because she useful in other ways

Mel is a Denier/Dismisser: Tell her my something bad happened and she'll tell you "Well you shouldn't have been walking down that dark street at night. or "You're just saying this for attention. Her problems are the only ones that matter to her. She is a perennial victim. NOT SAFE. BLOCKED NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE

Sofie is a Schaudefruender: "Tell her something bad happens she responds with "Wow glad that never happened to me. Glad my family is not like that. (LOL until it was and she came crying to me about it.) NOT SAFE. Still friends because she would give you the shirt of her back. And while she lacks verbal empathy, she has offered to fly from across the country to help me when I needed it.

Chad is Self Centered: Can't tell him anything bad because he never stops talking about his own problems and never asks how anyone else is doing. NOT SAFE But still friends because he is a really good person is so many other ways.

J is Safe Person. Can tell him anything and he listens, supports me, empathizes and helps me through it. True Friend through and through

M is a safe person. A true friend. She will listen without judging, And does random acts of kindness to make you feel better. And allows you to do the same for her.