Depression.
So let me explain. I was diagnosed with anxiety at 14, and have always been an overthinker. Sometimes it was bad, sometimes is was horrible. I clearly remember having the thought one night: "what if I get depression?" Thankfully it was just once that night, and wasn't a repetitive thought. But the next day, It came up again, and i started to get worried. I looked up symptoms of depression, and lo and behold,
I was now panicking, as the list perfectly described my daily life, I hated eating, every time I started to eat I wanted to puke, I lost my enjoyment in most of the things I liked to do, such as video games and tv, and I have always been told I have low self- esteem.
I tried to hold down the thought as I got ready to go to work. But It wouldn't go away. I lived with those thoughts for a year. I kept telling myself that I was just faking it, and that I am fine.
But I wasn't
It was a downwards spiral I couldn't break, "YOU ARE FINE" said one side, but the other wouldn't let me sleep. Eventually I was done. I had enough with it at this point and two ideas popped up. The first was to get checked, and, I am not proud of the second one.
I was diagnosed with Major depressive disorder, and have been prescribed medication for my sleep loss and depression.
Happy to say I am (somewhat) fine now and am living a happy life with my dog and cat.
To all people out there that are in a rough time, just know you all have my support.