I actually love to bitch about how fucking stupid the custo usually is.
Yup, I come here to see how bad/funny/ridiculous my shift was compared to everyone else and commiserate. I know the exact type of bartender who shits on other bartenders, and we hate working with them. It's a fucking power trip for narcissists being behind the bar and in control, and of course they know everything after doing it for a year, they teach their grandmother how to suck eggs. Am I fallible? Yup, so are are they, and I'm sorry but 8 years means something.
/STONED RAMBLING ADDENDUM
Sorry, I really went on a ramble. I reserve the right to be stoned off the clock.
I tend to be able to mostly ignore our resident douche unless they're on an insufferable roll, but I will not hesitate when necessary to address them like a truly pissed off tender to another.
So, shift change:
"Let me know when you're done and ready to swap" As he sits at the bar playing on his phone.
"You fucking cunt, I'd be ready a lot sooner if you got off your fucking late, obviously stoned ass and handled the fucking rail. You're 30 minutes late, you smoked a cig right after you clocked in, doing nothing, I haven't sat down in hours, let alone even entertained the idea of smoking, and I can't fucking count when someone comes to the rail every fucking 30 seconds. Get over here or don't, but fucking do something."
We all swear like sailors, but I'm an ambiguous socially capable introvert, people can't read me, so all that above might not sound like much but in the rare event I get truly pissed you'll know. Now you've fucked up, you have fucked up now! It's totally out of character.
I've never threatened someone with their job, nor do I ever want to, luckily most people either learn how to get into the groove and mindset after a bit, or they fuck up so seriously within a fortnight--usually sooner--after they're trained and working alone I wouldn't have to anyway. What is it with heroin and ketamine? Why are you even applying? You obviously have enough money for drugs, too bad you can't stick to coke, it's the bartenders friend, but you've clearly already long passed that event horizon.
Our last new hire was so strung out on special K on her first day alone she was standing in front of the lottery machine, just staring off into space for, I'm serious, literally, not figuratively, 20 minutes while I set up the bar for her after being called in on my day off to deal with the shitshow, and tended at the same time. Quickest employee turn around so far in years.
But honestly I don't care if you go shoot up in the back, drink, whatever, do not be seen, do not become intoxicated, keep your mouth shut, and just do your fucking job and we're good. Though the acceptably competent assholes like I've been ranting about obviously don't realise or care I've been tenured for years and you're ass will be gone with just a few words, no questions asked. But again, this one hasn't done anything worth firing over and they are actually capable, just why do they have to be such a prick all the time?
Doesn't help that a lot of these entitled douchebags, I've noticed, are goddamn trust fund babies, or not hurting for money, they're doing it because they're bored. Might just be the town I work in, so YMMV. Except for two or three serious regulars, patrons specifically and vocally say their piece and will not come in when someone so abrasive, condescending, and such a know-it-all is working. Oh yes please, do regale the Korean War veterans (It's a VFW) with your interesting life lessons and advice you oh-so worldly 26yo. So not only are we losing business on those days, but it's the goddamn old guard regulars. Is that where the money comes from? No, that's not the point, we first and foremost exist for them.
/End rant
But anyway, again don't waste your time thinking about their bullshit like I just did.