Week 3
Mission: I want to be independent to leave her. I want to reach financial independence, get a job that pays more, that it is closer to home, and be a great leader. Still need to find a passion.
Stats: 30 years old. 5’9, 186 lbs this morning. PRs: Bench – 225 x 2; Squats – 315 x 3; Deadlift 405 x 1, OHP 135 x 5. I posted a picture of my body 2 weeks ago. Bulking until Christmas.
Reading: 48 laws of power; NMMNG; Book of Pook; 6/8 of WISNIFG. I am doing small talk with people, but I still find it hard to open up. Getting there.
Financially: Still writing down all my expenditures, but I might have done some mistakes in the spreadsheet that will need to be done again today since it is the end of the month. I have spent $830 in groceries for the month of October instead of the $1100 for the month of September. I am still eating out instead of making a big dinner the day before. I do find that when my objective is to make a big balanced dinner I get a lot of push back from her. I can’t handle my frame when she is in the kitchen asking me if I washed my hands constantly.
Since I have been consciously spending less, I have been getting a lot of “do you have any money left?; Will you be ok for Christmas?”; “You don’t ‘have any money”. We do not have a joint account, and she consolidated her debts into her mortgage. Problem is she does not have a budget and goes into high shopping sprees. She complains when I did not want to spend $150 in candy at Walmart because of Halloween. She ended up purchasing it herself. (WISNIFG)
My needs: N/A
Relationship & Sex: I did not initiate at all. After last week’s fight, my bags are still packed. After the amount of shit tests I get the last thing I want to do is have sex with her and her unattractive body. One of the things that I have been hating from being more unattached to her is that I am seeing her nagging personality more clearly. She is so unaccountable for her mistakes, and I get blamed for everything. I literary don’t want to pass these shit tests, and I want her to see how much of an idiot she is.
Her: Accept your secret Santa request from my family. You re stopping everyone from doing their shopping.
Me: What are you talking about? You just accepted it 5 minutes ago.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Her: Can’t leave this bag of bread on the kitchen counter when it is wet, you will stain it.
Me: I didn’t use that. That was the bag you used on the weekend. My bag is in the freezer. (I cleaned the stain with alcohol)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*After purchasing $350 worth of clothes to see what fits*
Her: “We” need to take some of it back. These don’t fit.
*After the return date has passed*
Her: I told you to take these clothes back (and she proceeds to look at me like she fucked up and I have to save the day, which I did)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leadership: I am training the dog in short leash walking and his aggressiveness. 2 Km walks at night and 1 Km in the morning. Wearing him out like another poster told me last weel. I do at least one thing of housekeeping at night, but the house is still a fucking mess. I have stand up for myself a couple of times which is nice. However, I am lacking in leadership skills. I don't feel confident when I am around her, but when I am by myself I can change the spark plugs in my car. She calls her familiy for every single thing. The furnace broke, and I was half way into fixing it, but she calls her dad and her dad tells her what to do. In regard to that stain from the counter top, when I cleaned it, she said “how did you know how to do that?”. If she was around, she would have been giving me shit about how I was going to ruin the countertop with alcohol and I would immediately stop. This is a big thing in why I am frustrated with myself.
Need advice: Sometimes I say something and it sounds like whining, but I am not. Like this morning, I said “The dog is funny, he is roaming around the pumpkin and he is going to carve a nice bite mark” and then she goes to “You should have left it outside, I am not sure why left it inside the house”. I just STFU.
Career: I did not get the job in my company. Resumes still coming out.
Anyways, I am in her frame still, hence this post it’s mostly about her. I like where I am going with my finances though.