Paradox in Christianity

so, there are two routes, the issue is 'of the two': if i choose to go seminary, then it would most probably be louisville presbyterian. it is the PCUSA HQ. otherwise, i'd choose to go overseas to europe/UK, finding america excessively hysteric.

a simple dilemma, although it frequently presents itself to me as a complex either/or. it's difficult to know, actually impossible in advance, which route is "conventional" versus which is "divergent". at louisville seminary, i could become a true kierkegaardian knight of faith in this racist american spritual progressive arena. this post is indeed written just like this.

overseas, i've got cosmically significant, serious, & nuanced writerly works in-mind that would i believe dwarf barth's oeuvre of 6 million+ words. i can't really say more about it than that, at least right now. two totally separate trajectories, and yet: "there can only be one". i realize that in this format kierkegaard appears to already have won, in terms of its significance.

it's a special kind of 'destiny' question that i often wrestle with, but it is also a question which ive always felt wasn't finally my decision to make. anyhow, it's sometimes for the best that life doesn't go exactly the way one wants it to go. both barth and kierkegaard, symbolizations of my unconsciously-desired best-guess real-futures, are... imo, not crazy enough 'for divinity'.

this is all somewhat reassuring, in a strange way. in fact, i don't plan to read them anymore, after pouring myself over their literary tombs for so long without any answers. not saying they're shit, but i shan't waste any more time with silly theologians as these - that is, unless irony has it that i am to become one myself.

and, in anticipation of the next big 'parting of the seas' moment, i wonder whether perhaps god or whatever has other x-factors in the make...

/r/Christianity Thread Parent