I wish they could understand cause I don't want to think that they abandoned me when I needed them the most. One of the most uncomfortable situations that I ever had with my family is when I tried to harm myself because I can't handle all the stress and mixed emotions I'm keeping inside. I thought they would comfort me at those darkest time but they only made it worse for me. They made me feel that my problem is too shallow to harm myself. I admit that I am afraid, I am still afraid of death but sometimes I kept thinking of it just because I felt so alone and dosen't have any choice.

I am truly sorry to everyone for sharing this, I hope this dosen't make you uncomfortable. I am still in the process of keeping my sh*t together and Thank you