Parents of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing you've caught your child doing?

Not my child but an ex's daughter. Had been with my ex for about a year at the time and had recently moved in together with us and her 7 y/o. It was late at night and she put her kids to bed and then we called it a night. About 30 minutes later I got up to use the restroom and walked by their room. There was enough light coming through the window to see in the room and I saw some shuffling. I did a double take and my brain hiccuped. There's her 7 y/o daughter, and it looks like she's humping a pillow. WTF? I didn't know how to deal with a kid, let alone know what to do when catching them masturbating at 7 years old.. After a second I gave a fake cough and she jumped. It was enough of a jump to verify what I thought she was doing. I told her something along the lines of "Your mom said it was bedtime, shouldn't you be asleep?" And that was the end of that. I told her mom, my ex, about it the next day and she called me a liar. A week later she told me her aunt caught her doing the same thing while she was babysitting. After doing some investigating it turned out that at a different babysitter's house, where they'd often stay overnight, the -paid- 'sitters' were having sex in the same room as the kids at night. Their defense when confronted about it was that they thought the kids were asleep..... like that matters. My ex is stupid though, after refusing to take them there for a few months she caved and started taking them back. "It'll never happen again" wouldn't be good enough for me, but she made it clear the kids weren't my responsibility to worry about (y'know, unless she was spending my money to buy their food and clothes).

/r/AskReddit Thread