Most people don't have a fucking clue what it's like to raise a teenager. Add to that child abandonment by the biological mother and taking every opportunity to belittle his stepmother who put food on the table, keep him insured/pay for therapy and reach out to him. Every opportunity to just be at the very least a cordial human being. My now wife never asked for a close relationship or invaded his space, let him vent countless times into her.. I got sick of it.

At 18, you've still got a ton to learn about the real world, but the basic understanding of not treating good people like broken appliances is something you pick up after a few weeks/months/years in a shared living space. All that tension. I love him but shit, he's got a younger brother that's just entered puberty and a toddler sister who looks at him as a hero.

I had to boot him to keep the household intact when he turned 18. He was agreeable on this. We still talk quite a bit, usually his interests- video games and cartoon shows on Netflix. I play the games and watch the shows to have something to talk to him about. Time I'd otherwise spend watching a PBS doc or designing my bathroom remodel (I am boring). My now wife helped him with all of his college paperwork, which was a bear, because of the split household and back child support my ex owes me. He's in school for a trade and working. I'm proud of him. He still treats my now wife like a nuisance which hurts her, but it's not intolerable in such small chunks.

I think my ex really fucked him up about women. He doesn't trust them.

I lay awake a lot at night thinking about him. People who don't have teenagers have no grid for what it's like. You just want to help them make smart choices that'll allow them to put food on their tables and lead fulfilling lives. You ache over it, vacillate between anger at their behavior and self-doubt. Consequences are best taught at the home and not the courthouse.