a party girl with a squad and an introvert with a dog, advice?

Hey buddy. Sorry you're having some doubts, but hopefully you can sort this out pretty quickly. So, you said y'all have been together 3 months. It sounds like she's been partying longer than that. Were you not aware of it at all or is it just the frequency? I ask because if you knew who she was and are asking her to change everything now it's not really a fair request imo. Also, in your post there's no real mention of why you're not ok with her lifestyle. You said:

her lifestyle as I perceive it is a huge red flag for our compatibility and frankly it just makes me kind of uncomfortable, especially long term

Are you concerned about her health? Is it a trust issue? Is it a lack of common interest? I would say that's where you should start looking to find an answer.

If it's common interest you might need to open yourself up to what she's into. You don't have do the same drugs (or any at all) to share the experience. My wife and I have different personalities completely, but we communicate well and compromise when necessary. You may offer to do the same. Start going out with her some and asking her to stay in with you some. If she's sees an effort from you she's a lot more likely to be open to the change as well. If you try to slam the brakes on her... you're gonna have a bad time. If it's her health and well being, honestly, it's gonna be a tough sell. She knows herself and probably has a good idea of her own limits. Most regular users, even just socially, are aware of the health risks. You're not likely to convince her that you know what's best for her... she's gonna feel like you're trying to be controlling and it will push her away. If it's trust or something similar... you're gonna have to work that out. Don't punish someone else for your hang ups- obviously I have no clue if that's something you're dealing with, I'm just saying... All that said, it may be difficult to make the relationship last. It sounds like you're two very different people, who live very different lives. If you're both committed you can make it work, but it will be just that: work. Just think about if you're willing to do for her what you're asking her to do for you. Hope some part of that wall helps... good luck with everything.

/r/dating Thread