Please do not think I am entirely one sided or against having kids if a parent has major problems, just wanted to tell you how I feel on the subject. My mother had a large number of mental health issues that were basically left unchecked by all our family and her doctors and completely ignored by my mother herself. My sister got lucky and ended up with more personality quirks than full blown mental health problems. I lost the genetic lottery; ADHD, anxiety, bipolar depression, and due to my mothers abuse towards me as a child, PTSD that caused a good amount of emotional detachment disorder. I also have the same anger and impulse issues that my mother had. I always wanted kids, but as I got older my mental health issues became more pronounced and harder to control and work around. I am 44 now and even on medication I find that every day is a challenge. Mindfulness techniques that worked for me yesterday is useless for me the next. When I got into my mid 20's I realized being a parent would be extremely difficult for me but still a possibility. I still had not made the connection to my mental health problems; I thought I was just a bit slow, stupid, and had 'mood issues'. I was ignorant and just figured everyone has some version of these kinds of problems. When I finally got to about 30, I noticed patterns in me that were very similar to my mother and that is when I got very concerned. I looked into the rest of my family tree further and mental illness was on both of my parents families. Thats when I realized that the deck would be too stacked against a kid should I ever decide to have one.

Most humans are ignorant. We don't bother to see what is really going on 'behind the scenes' until it is too late, from large scale worldly problems down to our own mental health. You passed down something before you realized you had it. This happens all the time, so don't feel guilty. I had all the signs pointing towards me having mental health issues, as well as family history, but did not make the full connection later in life.

The good news here is that there is only one mental health problem in play so that means only one thing to treat. It is also especially helpful that as a parent you now recognize the symptoms in yourself that they are present in your child. You are doing far better than my parents did. That being said, if any parent struggled at all at any time during their life due to a mental health problem (ADHD in your case) then I personally believe it is their absolute duty to help out their child in every way they possibly can. This means medication, therapy, and anything else that comes up. If your child is struggling, then you shouldn't play doctor. Get your kid properly diagnosed. Let the people who went to school for this exact thing help. If they recommend medication, you should listen. My life would have been far far different (better) if my oblivious parents bothered to get me diagnosed when I was a child instead of ignoring my many issues. I am confident that being on some sort of ADHD medication as a child would have done wonders for me in school and subsequently later on in my life.

So as far as guilt goes about passing it down, I probably wouldn't worry about it. A lot of people don't realize they have problems until after they have had kids. I know many people that have mental health problems and knew about them prior to kids. That didn't seem to stop them either. I would hear a reason like 'well genetics is such a crapshoot that they may never get it', or 'its only half my DNA so its half the chance', along with so many other reasons why it didn't seem like a big deal. Because I have numerous different mental health issues, I will never have biological children. Ever. No way I am taking a chance on passing any of this down onto someone innocent. However, knowing what I know and have dealt with so much over my life, I wish that the only issue I had was just my ADHD. That would be such a dream. Your child may or may not need medication, and even if they do, it will likely be only one a day. They will only need to learn one set of coping mechanisms and life readjustments, especially if it is caught young. Having only one mental health issue is far easier to deal with than multiple. If I only had ADHD, vs that as well as all the other issues I am stuck with, I would for sure have had at least 2 or 3 kids by now.