Could you please clarify for me how you define power?
What is power? That is a question I am unqualified to answer. Whole books have been written on the subject and there really is neither a simple nor single answer to that question – power can be domination, it can be empowerment. You might be interested in the SEP's article on Feminist Perspectives on Power as a precursor to further research. I don't want to go into details of how rape is an exercise of power – I'm sure you can see that – but the culture of rape is both a psychological exercise of power but also enables and contributes to ignoring women's autonomy.
feminists put comments such "This is because of patriarchy". I was completely dumbfounded as to what was meant by this and it took me quite some time to get at least some grasp of what they were referring to.
Shouting technical terms never helps. I'd have to see examples to see what you mean, but people who advocate for women's rights and feminism could perhaps do better in how they communicate.
patriarchy is such a nebulous concept
As /u/queerbees wrote in their comment, that may very well be the case. I suspect 'patriarchy' as a stand-alone term has fallen out of use and is more used as an in-group identification, as in 'hey, we both know what we're fighting here.' Anyone who is fighting rape culture, wants equal pay and maternal leave etc. are by default fighting the patriarchy.
I hope this helps.