My goodness, you two are like the condescension power couple in here.

Maybe at the time I was able to afford it, maybe the deductible is dependent on the model of the phone and that plan was literally my only option, maybe I failed to plan, maybe I expected that because this is a phone and not a car the protection plan would cover full replacement like the vast majority of other plans for electronic devices, maybe the representative didn't explain it to me adequately, or maybe I wasn't listening, maybe I was tired of her trying to sink her teeth into my wallet and I said yes so she would let me go home, maybe I should have picked a different major in college, maybe I screwed up, and maybe I don't know.

Look, I get it, you guys get tired of people with muddy shoes stomping into your clubhouse and expecting, nay, demanding a free handout because they're a "loyal customer" or they've "spent a lot of money here" or whatever other nonsensical reason when the predicament they're in is due to their mistakes and could have been avoided if they had made better decisions. I'm sure it is equally as frustrating when you have to explain time and time again that they should just go in to the store and get it worked out. I understand, I deal with idiots too, I am an idiot, and I probably spend an equal amount of time sighing because people who aren't as well-versed in what I do refuse to think rationally.

I know that and I expected some push back (albeit not to the snarky level of captain sassypants above), so I, in hindsight rather foolishly, elected to insert some humor into my question to ease the sting of my idiotic presence.

I'm not expecting a handout and I intend to pop into the store to figure this out, but because I'm not as literate in mobile phone contracts as the rest of you I thought that maybe I could try my luck in here and see if you guys could point me in the right direction before I venture out into the frozen tundra. Clearly, I thought wrong.