Yeah man. It calls to me, yet it feels as distant as Christianity. Which is like, nonexistent in my mind. Basically, I lack focus to be able to consciously be conscious of ducking anything. Maybe I’m depressed. But Reddit doesn’t want to fucking hear it. What? Because I’m drunk, that I feel like I have some kind of “excuse” to ramble?? Fuck it. Fuck you. Absurdism is too optimistic. No one is right in metaphysics. “Why reality exists”. If we looked internally into existence, into what it really IS, then maybe we’d have some insight towards that question. Namely, that it makes no sense. But why is that so? Fuck it!! FUCK IT ALL IM SO FUCKINF DONE