My wife and I have both been married (to others) before, and both divorced. So I guess we've learned the hard way what does and does not make a good marriage.

One of our secrets is that we are BEST FRIENDS above anything else. It sounds like a cliche, but that's cos it's true and it works. Also, we are together because we want to be, not because we feel we have to be. Our sex life is good because we want each other, and I find her attractive, and she says the same of me. If there are any problems we have an "honesty policy" of talking about it. Sure, I meet other women that I find sexually attractive. But I get to have sex with the person I care about most in the world, who knows me better than anyone and is always there for me. Sex with anyone else just wouldn't be worth losing all those other things for.

My personal experienced opinion is that marriage doesn't kill a sex life - kids do. I see too many couples have kids, and suddenly the children become more important than their SO. If you have children and want a happy marriage, I think you need to vow to each other to never forget that the kids are only there because of your adult relationship with each other. The friendship and love you both share needs to always be of prime importance.