People here who are in their 20's and never been in a relationship, how did you end up in this position?

I've always had low self esteem because I have gynecomastia and have had it since birth. I was overweight add a child because whenever I tried playing with other kids they'd tease me about my breasts. So I spent all of my time on the computer or reading, and I gained a lot of weight. As I hit puberty, depression hit because I watched everyone around me flirting and dating and once we got to middle school and junior high... having sex. Meanwhile my self esteem was too low and I thought I was extremely unattractive, but looking back I know that wasn't true. I came out in 9th grade and there were plenty of other gay guys and bi guys but I didn't have any confidence. After high school I pretty much became a shut in because my parents developed a severe drug problem and my life became hell. They ruined my credit by putting bills in my name and not paying them, stole everything out of my bank when my taxes and student loans were deposited, and made offv with about 6500 dollars. The only time I was happy was when I was alone in my room, so that's where I stayed. I'm now 23 and due to all of my time as a shut in I have social anxiety. Although I want to go out now and have a good time, I can't be around people without feeling horribly uncomfortable and feeling like I'm suffocating. Every day at work is a nightmare. I work in a hospital so I'm surrounded by people every day all day long and I struggle with anxiety all day. I'm on break right now as I write this sitting in an empty patient room in an unused wing of the hospital because it's the only place where I can be alone, and therefore the only place where I can sit down and eat and relax. I try every day to beat this ridiculous anxiety but it's so far not working out. I know how ridiculous the anxiety is and I want to go back to being the social butterfly that I once was, but I can't control how my body reacts to social situations. Never had a boyfriend, last girlfriend was in 7th grade, never even been kissed or even held another man in my arms. Not the life I thought I'd be living, but I stay positive and wake up every day in a good mood. I'll beat the anxiety eventually, and the gynecomastia surgery is $8000 so it's not completely out of the question. I'm still overweight, but losing weight steadily. I was 340lbs at my highest and currently sitting around 290. 6'1 so at least I hold my weight well. I'm much more confident now than I once was and i actually think I'm reasonably good looking even at this weight. Losing weight would only make things better, so that's what I'm working on. Bit of a ramble and probably longer than necessary, but that's the reason that at 23 I'm single and a virgin.

/r/gaybros Thread