Why do people have kids?

Well, Billy, I'm glad you asked me that. Bring daddy a bear from the fridge, and I'll tell you all about it!

takes a sip of beer Thanks, Billy. So, you finally wanna know about kids, huh? Well, let's say you're 20 years old, and life feels great. I mean... you're young, you're handsome, you're in shape. And you feel like you got a great future ahead of you! Things are looking pretty good...

On top of that, you meet a really cute girl at a party. So you start dating, and everything's amazing. She's pretty, she's smart, she's funny, she's everything you'd want in a woman! You never thought you could be this happy!

Until one night, you're coming back from a party, and you're both really drunk. You get home, and one thing leads to another... then another, and another... And god damn, it's amazing! Until your condom pops... And she goes: "No, it's ok, I'm on the pill." And you keep going...

But as it turns out, Billy, those pills aren't 100% effective. There's like a 0.01 chance of them not working. take a few more sips of beer And, 9 months later... you're holding this little human in your arms, and you're looking at it and thinking: "This is a blessing!"

But as it turns out, Billy, it's not! It's really not. Because now you have to take care of this kid, and feed it, and wash it, and change it. And you're barely sleeping 4 hours a night. And you have to take an extra job to keep up with everything.

And you got no time for yourself, or your future, or anything for that matter. On top of that, you and your wife argue all the time, and you know she hates you now, and you kind of hate her too. And you get kind of fat, and sad, and and hopeless...

And, chugs the rest of his beer.... you see this bottle in daddy's hand, Billy? Before you know it, you need at least 6 or 7 of these a day, just to keep going... God damn it, had hopes, I had dreams, and plans for my life! wipes away tears

"Dad? Are... are you ok?"

Oh, fuck off, Billy!

/r/AskReddit Thread