I knew this girl called Jessica. She was smart, kind, stunningly beautiful, and very, very flirty. To 14 year old me, she might as well have been the only girl on the planet. She had a boyfriend, of course, but at that point I figured either they would break up, or I'd just get over it. Neither happened for quite some time- now I wasn't some terrible loner through my high school years, I had friends, and even ended up going on dates with other girls. But every now and then my mind would vector back to her.

Age 16, she breaks up with him, and I wasn't seeing anyone- so I ask her out. She says no, but amps up the flirting (It's clear now that she just liked the attention, but I was an idiot, we got closer). So flash forward again, and we've become very good friends, as we're each heading to university. I still had some unresolved feelings but c'est la vie.

I think a clean break is in order, I was meeting great people, having one night stands, all that fun uni stuff. But she kept messaging on FB. How much she would love to come and see me, stay with me, made some joke about how we were basically dating before we left home (wtf?). Well, ok, I think maybe the winds have changed a little, couldn't hurt to see her. She shows up, one night only, looking amazing. We go out, everyone gets drunk, she gets VERY drunk, yells at me for being stuck-up (apparently resentment over various things had been building for a while), then kisses with my best mate (who also happened to live in the room next to mine). I had to spend the night hearing them through a paper thin wall. She left the next day, this girl I had once thought I loved, who I AT LEAST thought was a friend- we never spoke again. She also spread some pretty horrible rumours about me.

So anyway, without assigning blame, and fully recognising the emotional immaturity I had going on back then, that was the first time I had my heard broken. I'll admit it still stings.