People of Reddit who feel they have ended up alone, what’s your story?

I was always a loner and never had good relationships with my family that lives around me. They all seemed to like my brother more. So as a kid I was usually alone. From there it went to highschool. I was the fat kid in the locker room and shower that got teased due to my male anatomy not being the same as all the thin dudes. So that was a huge blow to my confidence and self esteem. I tried to talk to girls and ask them on dates but no one wanted to date the fat loner. My most hated line that was given to me which I heard every time was “on no thanks I just wanna be friends” but they always acted differently so I just gave up. In college it was the same thing just always alone. 1 main friend that I hung out with. Now I’m still alone just the year has changed. Some days I wonder why even bother anymore. It gets worse when my family all tell me to go out and meet someone. Especially my brother and his gf. I hate going out to places with them. I have to sit with them for hours with them being happy and being together and it makes me sick and depressed. To see someone have happiness that has eluded me for decades just breaks me down. I can never tell them how I feel. They’ve never been alone. They all tell me it’s so easy to meet someone these days. It certainly is not especially for someone like me. I feel I will always be alone and every year it gets harder to deal with. Now I smoke and drink because I don’t have the courage or will anymore. I just go to work, do my job come home and hate waking up in the mornings. Will things get better I don’t think so. I’ll just probably keep doing the same thing until I die at 40.

/r/AskReddit Thread