Late to the party but you never know, someone might be able to get something out of this. Keep in mind that I'm not trying to defend what I've done and that I know that is was (and is) morally wrong, I'm just explaining how I've thought and felt about it until now.

I've cheated on my current girlfriend with two different girls which I had sex with multiple times (while they themselves didn't know I had a gf). I'm in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend with whom I've never been able to have penetrative sex and who never shows any kind of sexual desire, which means I am, for lack of better words, a very sexually frustrated person (the last relationship I was in was a very sexual relationship so there's a huge contrast).

Add to this that I have very low self-confidence, find myself extremely unattractive and that I feel like I'll never have a stable and happy relationship if I leave this one, and there you have it.

Plus, having someone want you purely for sex is great. It's something I hadn't felt in a while and that I almost never felt with my current girlfriend. But then yeah, I'm scared shitless of being alone, so I compromise in my own mind by doing awful thing to another person.

I need to come to terms with it but I'm not really sure how I can "think" better. Advice is welcome.