People who cheated while in a relationship and didnt get caught, did you stop? why or why not?

Wow, you're assuming that she married him for the benefits? You know nothing about them and especially her, Christ. You're straight up assuming that because she's asexual, she tricked him? I can't even begin to explore the issues with that. OP let on nothing of the kind. There is not one sentence in his comments that leads us to believe or infer that his SO tricked him or married him for benefits.

And "the fact that she doesn't have to have sex if she doesn't want to" is exactly the point. He has a completely valid need for sex - yes. But she also has a completely valid need to not have sex. They're both needs. People assume one person has a need and one person is a horrible negligent prude. Sometimes this is the case, but oftentimes, they're just a person that has a need to not be touched often - which is not the same as having no need at all.

However, in this case, if she's "borderline asexual" (which may or may not be the case, one can be a completely sexual being and still act like sex is a chore, but I'm going to trust OP here), you are partly right - they should consider alternatives because it's not okay that he has a need that isn't being met. But she can't have sex with him just for that reason alone - because essentially forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to can have incredibly detrimental effects on their mental health, for obvious reasons. So they need to seek another solution, like you said.

And I would also point out that yes, if she truly said what she said with the attitude she did, then she is in the wrong. We agree there. But your attitude about her is not much better than her attitude about him - and that's not effective conflict resolution.

Also, you have no right to tell someone who they "should be" marrying. You're trying to say that full disclosure is essential to a married relationship before the marriage happens - and you're right. But phrasing it like that makes your point fall flat at best.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent