I hated myself as a teen and young 20 year old. I was suicidal. I started understanding that came from childhood trauma. First I dealt with the baggage of my childhood trauma to the point I can recognize it and its effects. Then, I started discovering who I wanted to be, rather than who I was telling myself I "deserved" to be. Then, I got serious about becoming something more, and borrowed to go to school and started learning. It took me a while to find a major because I was just taking classes to discover shit, but college was amazing to help me better find who I am. After that, I started filling the holes I found in my life. I started hobbies, I started hanging around places and people that made me feel good, instead of those that made me feel bad. Once I felt solid in who I was, relationships became WAY easier both to enter into, and to determine if they were good for me. I found one that was amazing, and got married. We decided to foster and adopt to help other hurt people (kids) deal with their hurt. I now love who I am. There's still this little demon who sometimes starts to tell me I'm not good enough, I am going to fail, etc., but, I can recognize now where that comes from and know how to deal with it in a positive way. Good luck on your journey.