Was on a date with a dude I met on OkCupid. We clearly had ZERO chemistry [and I immediately found him mildly creepy - like that kind of creepy you sense as woman, but can't quite nail down], but I was trying not to be rude so I stayed longer than I would have liked. ...and to give you some reference, he kind of looked and dressed like Dwight Schrute [i.e. he looked nothing at all like his profile picture].

Anyway, here's some things he said during our 45 minute date: 1. He used the word "retard" 7x to describe various people in his life - I counted and cringed each time he said it. 2. He told me how he hacked his ex-girlfriend's email and social media accounts and checks up on her to this day...and that they have been broken up for well over two years. He justified this behavior with a cringe-worthy, "That bitch fucking deserves it." 3. He told me his parents lived on a dairy farm and that he got to watch a mother cow give birth once and - I cannot make this up - it was a defining moment in his life because "it was the first time he was able to shoot a baby animal in the face." I obviously didn't ask him for any clarity, but I can say he said it so authentically and deadpan that my words here aren't doing the creepiness justice. It was like he was re-living this fond {i.e. fucked up} memory as he told me about it. Also, first time? What the actual fuck.

Shaken and profoundly creeped out, I made up a story to GTFO of the restaurant and walked around the block several times so he wouldn't see where I parked. Upon returning home, I blocked him on EVERY social media account I could think of. A week later I received a notification that he viewed my Linkedin profile. However, I haven't seen nor heard from him since - thank fucking god.