Fuck it. Here’s a story.

Truest

So a little back story on us:

My friend and I were security guards in SF. Well, I quit and he stayed around. This guy would take shrooms and ecstasy all the time on his night shifts. Well, I knew this guy since I was 9 so we trusted an still trust one another no matter what. One day we realize he has control over the service elevator and we decide we can throw a kegger on top of the building. So we thew a kegger on the roof of a business building in downtown SF. So that's his mindset and what he was into.

The kid had never done acid, though. One day a friend gets a vile of some really pure liquid. So, a group of us get together and we decide we're going to trek around the city and just trip balls. I took two hits. Most of us took two or three. All of us but him had dropped acid. So we understood the purity and the consequences. We told him to only take two. He decided to get into an argument about what he could handle with somebody else who took six hits. My friend says, "I did hippy flips so I know what I'm doing!" He took 7 hits on his first trip. So...

We are just walking around SF. We walked from Twin Peaks down to Market St and just enjoy the visuals and stuff. We go to a friend's apartment and try to hang out but we're all so fucked up that it's awkward and he asks us to leave since he can't join us--we offered him some hits but he couldn't because he worked early.

So we get on the MUNI train and decide to go to Golden Gate Park. It's nighttime so we know we have to hop the turnstile gates (was a huge wall and gate) to get into the arboretum. It's very scenic, open fields, and closed off so we could be as weird as we wanted.

We get into the park and are peaking. I'm so fucked up that the moon turned into Socrates' face and then it turned into God's. The clouds passed by and I thought it was God controlling the weather by blowing it out his mouth. Mind you, I'm an atheist and I'm just in awe.

The friend on 7 hits decides to take a stroll in the open field. None of us worry because there's not too much area for him to get lost or to wander off in. I should mention there's only three of us at this point.

So my other friend and I are sitting there by a tree, waxing philosophically when we see a moving light. Oh shit! Park patrol! We stand still and agree not to move unless the light comes towards us or spots us. The light moves towards us so we just break off in different directions.

I'm running up a hill on some non official path. I find myself on the periphery of the park, under a weird never ending canopy of branches. I felt like a rat in a maze. I finally find a break in the barbed wire fence and hop it. I land at a bus stop and just pretend I was waiting for a bus as I gather myself. A cop rolled by almost immediately. I waited till he left and went up to our meeting spot on 9th and Judah (a donut shop). Nobody is there and only the kid on 7 hits had a cellphone. I figured he'd just come over or he'd call my landline. The other friend, I knew, would be fine. I got home and called the friend who was only on 2 hits. We talked. He was fine.

Well, I figured 7 hit boy was probably fine since he didn't call or come over--that he was just wandering around high as fuck. So I decided to listen to my favorite band, Tool. I'm going through their discography and jimmy is playing around 2am.

ring ring

"Hello?"

"I need you to come to the hospital and bring me clothes."

This is where the story gets good.

So, he fucking told me the wrong hospital. I skateboarded to the wrong hospital, enter the emergency room looking for him. They obviously don't have a record of him, so we're all confused. And I'm still tripping so hard these two black security guards are melting and twisting weirdly in the face. They had a thick southern accent so I kept thinking they were these crows from an old cartoon where the crows kept talking about black eyes peas.

Well someone that was there for a medical reason tells me what hospital my friend probably meant since the names were similar. So I skate there and walk in. My friend runs over to me in his hospital gown, beaten badly in the face, and says, "I didn't tell them anything. You're fine. No one knows."

He grabs the clothes and leaves. He comes back dressed, signs a release paper and we head out. A nurse chances after us, puts her hand on his shoulder and tells him not to worry because it happens a lot in the city. We're walking out and I say, "What the fuck happened?!"

We're walking down the street and he says:

"After we got separated I just kept walking until I came upon a river. I stood and reflected about the unhappiness in my life and wondered what the causes were. I realized it was my material possessions. I decided to divorce myself from them. I took my keys, my wallet and my phone, and I threw them into the pond. I decided to keep walking. I hadn't seen anyone in hours and I thought I was the only person alive. I kept walking until I got to the Palace of Fine Arts.”

I don't know if you've ever seen the Palace but it's majestic as fuck. It has a fountain in the center, another museum across from it and a stage near it.

"I walked over to the Palace and it hit me. I hadn't seen anyone because I was dead and this was the entrance to Heaven. I walked over to the doors and knocked on the gate to enter Heaven."

knock knock

"A security guard came to the door and told me the Palace was closed. He wasn't going to let me into Heaven. I wasn't going to be denied. I pushed past him and ran inside and started running around. Two guards caught up to me and pulled me out. I repeat, I wasn't going to be denied. I ran back to the doors, broke them open and ran in. One of the guards was chasing me and I saw the other one on the phone calling the police so I punched him in the face. They pulled me out again."

"Forsaken I ran to the fountain and tore of my clothes and screamed and cursed God for not letting me in. The red and blue lights were flashing. Four cop cars were outside the Palace. I realized the problem. My epiphany was that I wasn't fully dead. I decided the only way in was to let the cops finish killing me."

He's 6'1" 220lb

So he jumps out of the fountain, buck naked and rushes at 8 police officers who are there for a violent breaking and entering. They pull out their billy-clubs and beat the living fucking shit out of him.

So at this point I understood why I had to go to the emergency room with clothes.

So he calls his dad (he was in the East Bay) and says he fell down steps at a party while drinking and misplaced his wallet and keys. His dad says he'll come down to give him his spare key.

Well, my friend forgets about this and wanders the park and museum areas to see if he can find any possessions.

Then my friend remembers he had a car key stored under his vehicle. So he goes and gets the car and realizes he forgot about his dad. Fortunately his dad was a hardcore alcoholic. We found him so intoxicated in his old dive that he didn't even remember why he had come to the city.

My friend looks at me and says, “Except for the end, that was fun. I'd do it again."

And that's my story. :p