I’m not poor to many of you but I feel poor, if not worthless. My sister always tells me I’m going to be homeless, despite having six figures in liquid cash in funds set aside by my family. I’m 24, don’t work, and get checks every month that equal out to 60k a year. I have to lie about having a job, have no degree yet, and I really am disappointed with myself. My grandfather owned and operated an investment banking firm that was later sold for nine figures, I worked for two different family businesses that both earned 3-10 million from the time I was 11, and I am mentally ill and burnt out from the crazy stuff I had to go through.

Everything I fantasize about is illegal, I know I can’t do it, and I’m trapped in a world where I’m not bright enough to participate in the fields my successful friends have gotten into. People have this assumption that I’m brilliant because I’m knowledgeable and can hold a great discussion but honestly, I can’t really seem to hold my weight in technical matters and that’s all that counts. I don’t want to be a con artist, I don’t want to be the guy who has to look behind his back, and I don’t want to be the pretentious man who has no career but speaks like he’s a genius.

I’m unsuccessful. I have dropped out of 2 four year colleges, graduated a trade school, skipped out on making six figures this last year to just go snowboarding and get drunk all day, and I’m not really sure what’s what. Living off your parents is not attractive. I can’t talk to a girl anymore without lying about my job (I say I’m an electrical engineer since I have a pretty good grasp of the concepts since I graduated as an electrician), I have no passions beyond writing, reading, and making comics. I am adopted, so I have a lot of the shitty genes.

I want to join the military, be done with all of this, just get lost in another world where I can be poor and no one would know the difference. I hate everyone