People who grew up with an awful Dad/Mom, did they screw up your life, or did you turn out just fine?

It’s a long post and I am sorry for it being so long, I never talked about these things to anyone before and when I started writing it, it pretty much came out. I thought my life could be an awesome drama series or something until I saw videos on YouTube about /askreddit and it gave me the power that other people went through this shit as well. It sucks I never came across those videos before or used reddit, would have made things easier .So please be sensitive to the fact it’s so long, I don’t mind if you are not sensitive to the story.

So my life is something like Zuko’s story but my mother is a sleeper Ozai and dad was the enforcer, my sister was Azula, protégé child the all around favorite of everyone, always collided with my mother, had the favor of father. I studied psychology, apparently not by choice(i realised it during my studies) but as a mean to actually help myself and my family, but the thing is you can’t. They don’t want help, even if they ask for it, if they really wanted help they would have went to a professional. It’s even worse when they straight up put you in a situation where they ask you to “fix” relatives. I did help myself though.

My mom is a control freak(and i mean controlling others and showing dominance over them) submitting to her is the only way she is going to love you, never antagonize her or else, eat the shit she throws at you at all time kind of freak. Has ocd, obsessed with cleaning and i mean she will even find shit to clean even if everything is clean even if you clean and tidy everything up she will come like a tornado fuck everything up just so she will clean it. She is never wrong, has illusions of grandeur, and the worst part of it all is that she can never listen to logic, she always takes everything as an insult and as a threat. She believes everything is fine even though things aren’t. I was constantly beat by her whenever she couldn’t control me. And i mean with every way possible (wooden/plastic/silver hangers, brooms, wooden cooking spoons) The only time she was actually fair is that she beat my sister as much she beat me but i was getting beaten up by my father and mother. She was cynical/cruel Stalinistic kind of way in her morals or views, if you called her out she would spend an hour explaining something more or less “means justify the end” bullshit. My father stopped beating me up at the age 9 because i reported him by accident. We were talking in class and some classmates brought it up that my parents are beating me up and they were laughing at it like its "XXXX" so its ok its normal for him. So i basically stood up and was laughing as well when i showed them a huge bruise i had on my ribs because we had an argument and he kicked me and i flew hard on the side of the couch, WWE kind of flying. My father wasn’t an alcoholic nor he had any other mental problem as far as i know he was just a douche, he would mock me about girls all the time, would never give me any advice what’s so ever, and when i was younger he was the one asking me for advice on how to deal with my mom. I was always in a stage where i had to choose a side, and they never understood that. He would call my mother crazy and a liar and she would call my father an insensitive piece of shit, would have a huge fight that lasted for 3-4 months, my mom would go all mental drinking like a Russian (pardon my racism) calling my father an unfaithful asshole, taking pills, writing suicide letters all the times, banging her head on walls, sometimes she bled as well, and the next day i had to go school. During that she would call/tell me things a mother should never say to a child. My father is an asshole yes but for all the things my mother said about him all these years he could just let her die or just look the other way and our problems would be gone. But he was always there for her during that phase. Their whole marriage is build on enemies, like as long as somebody is an enemy they are united and i mean sick united crazy obsessed kind of way. And usually i was that enemy because it suits them, especially when it was about money, if he didn’t have any money he would never tell me Son i don’t have any money or Son we are low on cash etc explain the situation, he would straight up belittle me and mock me to the point i will retaliate and he will be in right to be mad in the end leaving me without money even though i was dependable to their/his money(again am talking about a society where kids were allowed to work or forced to work at their father job child labor kind of work the one you are taught in school) he is a constructor and he took me to work from age 8 because my mother would always be mad that I stayed home during the summer even though she wasn’t working. She would always rub it in our face that she quit her job to be there for us, but to be honest it made things worst having her around the house for so long , and it even made her condition worst. I learned the constructions at age 11.

/r/AskReddit Thread