People who have had "friends" stab you in the back, what is the story?

As a kid i met a guy that i instantly connected with, and on another level. We're talking one out of a million kind of match. Over the years we spent stupid amounts of time together. I'd be lying if i said most of my favorite memories of the first 20 years of my life aren't with him. I loved him like a brother.

During HS things changed. At first i just figured it was the grown-up life catching up to us with real responsibilities. That was until i started to receive messages. Most of them were sent between 3 and 5 AM, and were of biblical lengths stating how much of bad person i was, how bad his life was and how it was all because of me. It hurt deeply because he was someone i held very close and because i had no idea where it came from. As time went by i found out that he turned our mutual circle of friends against me. He would disclose personal secrets, tell lies and spread rumors. People all turned their backs on me because my closest friend suddenly stabbed me in the back.

Fast forward a couple of years, i found out that it was because he was gay. Despite being so close it still came as a surprise. There's no way you can tell. He is very masculine, with hobbies being cars and motorcycles. After that i realized that the stabbing in the back was a coping mechanism for a very difficult situation. He grew up in a conservative home, and being gay is not accepted. He was disregarded by his own mother. He also had developed a crush on me, and i was very much straight so it could never work. He was living in hell and had no way to get out.

I completely understand and respect his actions and emotions now. I feel so bad for him, and my only wish is that i knew so that i could've helped him. We don't talk anymore, but i know that he is happily in a relationship with another guy so good on him. I really miss a friend, though.

/r/AskReddit Thread