Once upon a time, I was a young female police recruit. One weekend, in the middle of the academy, I decided to go hit up the bars with my girlfriends. Fast forward to the end of the night and we wander our tipsy way over to a food truck down the street for some drunk food. As I’m waiting in line, a drunk man runs over to me and begins humping my leg/grinding on me, and grabs hard onto my breast.

Unfortunately for the poor bastard, I was in the middle of my three week defensive tactics course at the police academy and had been pretty much doing jiu jitsu for eight hours a day that whole week. So my newfound muscle memory kicked in and I arm-barred the guy into a nearby wrought iron fence and hit him with a few knee strikes along the way. Luckily he hit the side of the fence and not the spiky part at the top, so I’m pretty sure he survived relatively unscathed, however we didn’t stick around to make sure.

I took off running and we didn’t call the police. I was too scared of getting in trouble at the Academy that I didn’t want to report the guy.