People who need to vent and don't want to bother their friends and family, what's wrong?

my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, longest i’ve ever lasted w someone. we love each other very much but i’m so scared because the smallest things can strike up an argument. we’ve just recently moved in together, I like to keep things somewhat tidy and clean and if it stays super messy for too long I get overwhelmed and angry and panicky and he takes it as me blaming him for things not getting done. I have extreme anxiety so there’s no way i’m going to the laundry mat alone, but he won’t take me to my moms to do it and he works more than me so he doesn’t always have time to do it. our trash can is at the bottom of a hill and it’s freezing out so neither of us want to take it. we both forget to bring it down when we leave the house. when I try to clean i’m so focused that I sometimes throw something away that he needed but if he’s not home I forget to ask and if it’s just on the fucking floor i’m not going to assume it’s important. today when he got home he said “wheres the red envelope” and I was like “um.........” bc I was scared and I knew what was about to happen. he goes and gets it out of the trash and says “why didn’t you ask me. there’s $100 in this” and I immediately burst into tears “i’m so sorry i’m sos sorry I didnt know please don’t get mad” and he’s like “why do you get so scared i’m not mad” and Im like idk i’m sorry. but any time he does get mad even if it’s not at me he’ll slam stuff and get super aggressive with every movement he makes and it brings up memories of abuse and i’ve told him that that’s why I wince and make little whimpering noises when he hits anything because that’s my instinct reaction because I grew up associating anger with violence and i can’t handle loud noises like that and that shit is extremely difficult to unlearn especially when he’s acting the way he does. part of me just wants to go back home sometimes.

/r/AskReddit Thread