People who have pretended to fall asleep, what is something interesting you've overheard?

This will probably be buried but whatever.

So it's my freshman year of college. My roommate is having her long distance boyfriend up for the weekend so I tell her that I will stay in a our friends room across the hall for the weekend so they can do the dirty. Our friends room is a 4 person suite and 3 of them are out of town for the weekend. The one girl who was still there was getting ready to go out to a party at the nearby military base. She PROMISED me she wouldn't bring anyone home and that when she got back we could do some shots and watch a movie. I get my comfy clothes on and wait up til 2am for her to get back. I hear a male voice whispering down the hall in our all-girls dorm and I immediately knew my friend had brought someone back to fuck. So she and some fat mexican cholo crawl into her bunk bed and go at it. I'm the kind of person who just freezes in awkward situations so I lay there like wide awake listening to the nasty. I am a very light sleeper and I still couldn't fall asleep long after he has left. Morning comes and I guess all the girls were talking about it at breakfast, and how funny it was that I was there asleep the whole time. They come up to me and smirk saying "how'd ya sleep last night!" and I say "I didn't. I fucking heard it all." They dropped to their knees in laughter and I just kinda sulk off thinking at least it wasn't as bad as the first time this happened to me.

The first time it happened to me another friend and her man started fucking in the back seat of a minivan while I was in the front seat. The whole van was shaking while I sat there completely frozen. Afterwards he asked "Did you feel that earthquake!!?" Sigh....

/r/AskReddit Thread