I see that for many of you is the family or the cleaning thing. For me it isn't. I had thougt of many ways of doing it without leaving a mess behind and making me sure that it gets clear that it was a suicide so the police can't harass my family.

And sure Is not my 5yo son, because I know that he will live a better life without me than with me around. Is not my parents nor my brothers, they of course will cry and mourn me but I'm sure they will be relieved because I won't be a burden for them anymore.

The only thing that had held me of ending it all is the thought that my body will be profanated by the forensics at the morgue and due to the suicide matter, in my country it has to be a mandatory authopsy, oh! and also by law the body can't be cremated.

That shit has me angry and anxious. I just want to end it all for once and my body to be cremated. I don't want my body to be sit in a shitty municipal morgue for days and being manipulated by so many people. I don't want my body to rot in a box for so many years before it becomes dust.

It's a crazy thing I know, I'll be dead so it shouldn't matter to me but I can't help thinking of that.