People who have shit themselves in your adult life, what is your story?

Aside from having a Montezuma's Revenge minor slip up in Mexico, there's really only one instance that sticks out to me.

So, around 2pm on this fateful day, I set out on my journey back home to visit my parents for my birthday and Thanksgiving over a break from school. It's typically a pretty uneventful four or four and a half hour drive depending on traffic, nothing too bad.

All was going according to plan until the two hour mark, when traffic came to a dead standstill. I've been in traffic jams, but this was something else. I wish I was kidding when I tell you that I didn't move three inches in the three hours I waited, which was conveniently enough time to watch the good parts of the Lion King (ain't nobody got time to watch Mufusa die...RIP...) and two episodes of the Wire on my computer. About halfway through the second episode, I realized I was getting hungry, but food stores were depleted and traffic wasn't going anywhere fast. I checked in my console for something to snack on, but all I had was an unopened car cup of Orbit Winterfresh. Mind you, I was that kid that ate the entire bubble tape roll in one bite, so I had no qualms about trying to set the world record for "Biggest Wad of Gum While Sitting in Traffic". I thought nothing of it, and reveled in the minty goodness that was transpiring.

About a half hour later, I started feeling some major crampajawea in my downstairs mixup...you know the type. At first, I thought nothing of it, but quickly realized that the clock was ticking and we were now keeping score. Luckily, with hands clamming up, I was able to duck up onto the shoulder of the highway and boogie to the nearest exit.

As I came around the corner of the exit ramp the situation became dire. I knew that I had a five minute or so window to do what needed to be done or suffer the consequences. I hightailed into the bathroom of the first Dennys I saw, with tears welling and desperation abundant. I got one foot into the restroom before my worst nightmare was realized; another pour soul was occupying the lone stall suffering a similar fate.

At this point, the wall had begun the spring a leak, and the question wasn't "is damage going to be done", but rather how much. I got back into my car, and fighting off the impending helplessness and doom, made my way ten feet up the road to a motel parking lot.

After having the wherewithal to try to lobby door (it was locked), I realized what had to be done. Out back, there was a tool shed which was separated by the highway I was just on by a chain link fence, a few trees, and about 40 feet of land. Reaching the end of my physical capabilities, I gave in to the god of sugar alcohols[1] and released the waterfall of satan to a symphony of trucker horns and what I can only believe to be songs of support. Just as quickly as I had appeared, I jogged out from behind the shed to see a small gathering of motel residents who had come out to see what the fuss was about. Dodged their looks, and with shame in my drawers I ran back to my car, and left as quickly as I could before finding a Shell station for round two and a change of clothes.

After two more hours and four more stops I finally made it home, making a record time of ten hours on what should have been a four hour drive.

And that my friends, is the day I hit rock bottom.

TL:DR: chewed an entire car cup of gum, unleashed a storm of chocolate rain behind a motel toolshed, to a symphony of trucker horns and shame.

/r/AskReddit Thread