People who have shit themselves in your adult life, what is your story?

I made this account just to tell my stupid story of how I shit my pants and got baack together with my ex boyfriend in the same day. It's a long story, but it's worth it.

Here we go: "The Crappening"

This day started off as a pretty fun trip between me (F, 22, 120 Ibs) with two of my male friends ( et's call them S and M) going to a beer festival in a nearby city. Now, both of these guys are big beer drinkers (neither of them were my ex), and I stupidly tried to keep up with them. I had never been to a beer festival before, and just wanted to try everything. To sum up the story and get to the good shit, this is what I remember drinking before I blacked out: 3 IPA's, 1 Stout, 2 Honey Meades, and 1 lager, within the time span of 4 hours. BIG. MISTAKE.

The rest of this story is recounted to me from the two friends I was with: both of them had to haul my drunk ass back on the train to get home. We had to switch on two stations, and get on three different trains. First off, I puked on every train. Now, this normally wouldn't be so bad if the trains hadn't been packed to the brim with baseball fans leaving the nearby stadium. Needless to say, I was given a wide berth. S, not wanting any part of this shit show, hung back and pretended not to know M and I as M tried to keep me awake. Apparently, on the second train, people were giving M the dirtiest looks, thinking he was going to assault me. One girl had actually tried to get me away from him, in which I responded by puking very close to her shoes.

As we got off the stop and walked to S's car, it happened. I somehow convinced M and S that I could walk on my own, and they walked ahead of me through the gate. Just as I had taken three steps from the gate, I immediately crouched over and let out a loud, wet shart. M, about a hundred paces away, sees me hunched on the ground and calls out:

M: "Hey SW, are you OK?"


M: "What's wrong? Can you stand?"

SW: "Uh- uh."

M: "Why not?"

SW: (Whispering) "I shit myself"

M: "What? I can't hear, you. What's wrong?"

SW: (Loud enough for everyone leaving the trains to hear) "I SHIT MY PANTS!"

S was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, up until he realized I'd have to sit in his car with my rapidly-browning pants. So what did they decide to do next? Drive to my ex boyfriend's house, of course!

Now I know what you're thinking: Bad shit's about to happen. Thankfully, he wan't home at this point in time. S an M had stopped to pick up mutual friend C, who lived with my ex. I hadn't seen C in over a year, and the first thing I said to him was:


Here's where I woke up from my blackout. One minute, I was at the beer festival, the next I was in a bathroom that was strangely familiar... and why did it reek of shit?

Oh no. I look down at myself. Somehow, the shit wasn't just in my pants, it had gotten into the top part of my shirt as well. It was all over the floor, the toilet seat, my shoes, everywhere. I looked at the mess, slowly turned around, and barfed until shit came out of my eyeballs. I hear laughter outside of the door. S and M had filled in C on today's events. I come out of the bathroom, wearing my shit-stained clothes, and said,

"Can ....can I use your shower?"

Now, how this relates to the bf and I getting back together? To spare you the nitty gritty details, we had a dumb fight a year ago, and were too bullheaded to work it out / call each other. I had asked C about him, and after a lot of debating and hesitation, I give him a call. I tell him what happened, and lo and behold, we've now got a couple of months under our belt. It was a pretty good day.

TL;DR: I keep up with beer- guzzling giants, Shitageddon happens in my pants, and soggybottoms gets the guy in the end.

/r/AskReddit Thread