Sometimes they isolate you in many ways that make it hard to just "leave". Financial is the biggest for me. It's like a trap. If you try to leave you can put yourself in more danger. If you tell people, they don't help, they just judge and avoid you. He's put bruises on himself after he puts them on me, and I'm scared he does it to make it look like a fight rather than him throwing me around.

It doesn't happen every day, they can manipulate you to make you think everything is fine, they can space out their episodes. You end up just living in it after a while and lose track of how long or how bad. It just gets absorbed...

I'm in an unfortunate situation now where i have to find a way to explain why I've physically vomited the last 2 times he's tried to be intimate with me. This morning being one. It's stress in my body. Instead of arousal, I get sick with him. It feels like an attack. Emotionally I'm pretty disconnected at this point, so it wouldn't be so hard to leave if options were there.

At the very least i wish someone would get in his face just once for me. He wouldn't swing on a man, i know this. I've done it but i can only protect myself against someone bigger so much.