I chose not to tell my friends about what life was like in England, especially for women. I believe in government support and welfare programs, but lower-middle class English life made me doubt everything.
I stayed in a medium sized town on the coast, about 15,000 people. Most of the woman in my age group (20s-30s) that I met during my stay didn't work at all. They chose to get pregnant right out of high school which got them government funding to live on and even a decent home to raise children in. Why work when you can just spread your legs to earn a home? Most of our conversations included complaints about how they deserved more government benefit money or how they thought they should have another kid because it means they'd get a nicer home.
Often these women never wanted to get married and had several children by different men. The relationships they did have were toxic and on/off again with partners who put up with their children. One woman was kicked out of different boyfriends' homes 12 times in one year! She dragged her daughter through each and every one of those homes too. Those women couldn't discuss complex topics and showed little interest in going back to school or finding meaningful work. (One of them actually questioned me as to why I was even looking for work since I already had boyfriend.) It was a really hard pill to swallow compared to how I was raised.
I grew up lower-middle class in a big Canadian city. My mom was our bread-winner. I was raised to work hard, value knowledge and be ambitious. I attended college and am planning a life for myself. Even my half sister who grew up in the praries, a town the same size as the one I stayed in England, went to college and got a skilled job. She worked until she had her daughter with her husband at age 26. She married young at age 19, but worked hard to help build a support system before having her child. We were never well off as children, our families struggled with debt and I lived in thrift store clothing most of my life. I always wanted to earn good things and create a good life for myself and my family, just as my sister is doing.
So when I saw the sheer lack of intelligence, drive and dignity that those English women had it broke my heart. They were doing it to themselves, they all had the capability to try harder and contribute to society, but they didn't see the point to it. They reduce themselves to baby-makers who can't model healthy relationships or proper work ethic. There were work support programs, college programs and so many opportunities out there that they didn't care for because they found an easy way to live. The welfare state ruined those young women, and will probably do the same to their children. :(