Well, when it happened, she was 26 and I had just turned 29.

The thing is, she doesn't lie, but she's also the most dishonest person I know with almost no integrity. If you can understand that, then you can begin to understand her.

These quotes are from just a few days apart, and nothing really happened in between them except a bit of dialogue, which is what she said she wanted:

"So calling you might have been a terrible idea and I am sorry for that. I want to help you to somehow move on from me. I thought maybe talking would help but obviously it is too painful. I am sorry that you have to go through so much pain. It makes me feel terrible and sad."

a few days later...

"I dont know what to say to you. I do not want to talk on the phone. What is going to come of all of this? Do you see anything good coming from all of this?

I am reading all of your emails. At least you can know that you are being heard. maybe I am just an empty box. I do not feel much and I dont have much to say. I hear what you say and i can either acknowledge that it is true, or makes sense, or think that it seems off and is wrong. Either way doesnt make much difference to me anymore. It is hard to get a real response from me emotionally."

Then, the next day, I do speak to her on the phone and she breaks down and starts crying, asks me why we didn't talk about any of this. At one point, I hang up on her and she calls me back. We speak for like three hours. Then, I terminate the call saying something like "Okay, well, I want to keep this conversation going, but I'll give you a break." She's fine with that. It seems like we're on good terms.

Then, she tells my friend that she wants to completely cut me out of her life. I try to get in touch with her for weeks, and when she finally gets in touch with me, she just tells me that she was busy. So, I speak to her on the phone again. It seems to go well. "Well" meaning heading towards some type of closure or understanding for me. Again, we hang up on good terms. I ask her to call me next time. She agrees. Then, I haven't heard from her for months. There's still so much I need to say.

Anyway, none of that has anything to do with the breakup. It's just to show how erratic she is.

I appreciate your interest, but the actual breakup is very hard to understand because it almost undermines the whole idea of friendship and relationships. I've been through the conversation many times starting from scratch. I've spent many many therapy sessions going over what happened and the evidence of why I think what I think. I could probably talk forever clearing away assumptions and speculations, making counter points, and the thing is, I will, but I would just be wasting your time. That's why I'm kinda just trying to get an idea of what perpetually happy people with BPD are like, just so I can compare what I know about her with that, not even to diagnose her.