People with high social skills. What's the biggest mistake that people often make in interactions with others?

Small compliment + asking for tips when you notice them doing something that isn't needing their full attention.

Example: "Gheez you can text quickly!"

"I like the colours on that picture you drew. I'm not too great at picking colour schemes."

"Aw dang, I'm no good at candy crush. Puzzle games confuse me."

It doesn't matter if you are faster at texting, they can be good at it as well.

It doesn't matter if you think you are better/faster at typing or you can get to level 9 in tetris in your sleep and that candy crush is boring because of it. They can still be good at it.

I notice a lot of people generally dismiss other people's small accomplishments and expect constant praise and admiration for themselves. This is not how you make friends.

They have a shirt that has some sort of reference you get? Comment on it!

New shoes? Say they're nice!

Haircut/dyed hair? Mention it!

But don't do this all at once. Watch their body language, listen to the tone of their voice and how much they talk back. If they begin to contribute to the conversation then great. Good. But don't let it go too long. You don't want them to burn out. The more passionate the discussion on the beginning only sets a high standard for next time.

Keep strong opinions about things to yourself in the first 2-3 conversations.

Just take your time. Friends don't happen overnight.

Finally: If they are upset, bothered or angry about something that is unrelated to you, just be there for them. Listen. Let them rant. Ask questions about it but never, never, EVVEEERRR give them suggestions on what to do that day or even a day or two.

If you think it's that important try to bring it up casually. Gently. Innocently. If they begin ranting again or getting worked up just let it run it's course and don't bring it up again.

Nobody wants advice when they're mad. They just want someone to vent at. Don't take it personally and trust me they will appriviate it.

P.s. "Everything will be alright" is the worst thing to say when they vent. Honestly. Don't tell them things will be okay when things are currently not okay for them. They don't care about the future, they care about the now.

/r/AskReddit Thread