When I tried to take my own life at 14 years old. I was checked in to some bs institution for a long while and it was while I was locked in there that I really had to face it. I always knew on an instinctual level that something was deeply wrong inside of me, but I never knew what it was or how to express it or cope with it, until one day I couldn't take it any more...

I'm glad I'm still alive but I still struggle to find reasons to want to live some times, even now, 11 years later. A lot of really fucked up repressed memories are just surfacing in the last two years and all I can think is "no wonder I'm so fucked up..."

Unfortunately, I can't find a single therapist within 100 miles that accepts my insurance and is also accepting new patients. So I continue to struggle in silence by myself. I hope to whatever gods that may or may not exist that I find some peace some day.