I started crying myself to sleep when I was six. I was scared of death. Then as I got older it was less profound and more “selfish” reasons for sadness. For instance, I was afraid of interacting with others and had very little friends because I thought I was worthless. I attended a prestigious university, was accepted into a sorority with some very attractive girls. Despite this, I almost failed out because I was too depressed to function. Managed to graduate with a 2.3. Currently struggling to realize that I’m worth hiring. Lexapro is great but the self hatred is greater. I’m not suicidal at all, but I am relatively lazy in comparison with my family, that are all high success/career oriented. I spend the majority of my time these days beating myself up for not turning out the way they expected.