When i was 15 years old i drove under a bus with a 2-wheeler because i wanted to die, but that wasn't when i knew, i survived with a few scratches and kept living my life completely miserable with no social contact for about 3 years, then i started getting friends, like really good friends. After i met them i was sometimes happy, which was nice.

Slowly i started to realise that you aren't actually supposed to feel like this all the time, i think i finally fully understood when i was 19 started to have these idk what they're called but i start hyperventilating and feel so much anxiety i just curl up in a corner and usually cry.

Now im 21, i still havent seen a doctor because well im not so sure why, i hope i gather enough courage to someday go for it. I'm still really depressed but i dont think im a danger to myself currently, atleast i got my friends to keep me somewhat sane.