a person in my grade killed themselves today

this isn't a cry for help and I don't know what I'm expecting to get from this.. But recently I have been seriously thinking about killing myself.

I crashed and totaled my first car a couple days ago, I live on my own in Los Angeles.. No family for thousands of miles.

I have friends who care about me and love me and they would be terribly mad/sad if I ended it..

But even with knowing that, I just want everything to be over.

I wake up most days either feeling nothing or o just feel angry with myself

Every relationship I have had in the past 2 years has made me lose faith that true love will ever exist.

I used to have so much I wanted to do with my life, be a doctor or a nurse... But now all I ever want to do is go home, smoke weed, and sleep for more than half of the day.

Now that I don't have my car anymore, o truly don't even know what I do have.. Whatever it is, it isn't much, and o just wish I could find a single gun so I could quickly end it all. I feel like the only thing stopping me at this point is my own cowardice towards a slow and painful death.

Oh well though, I'm sure I will have a lot of people reach out and tell me otherwise, but o really don't know what could be said to change my perspective on life at this point. I think I'm not ready to move on

/r/teenagers Thread