I can only imagine that "for the uninitiated" a 12 hr DMT trip is going to remain mostly abstract and unprocessed. Especially at such a young and impressionable age. There's so much to take in. There's a lot to be said about extended journeying not to be taken until a bit later in life, I think.

I've met people in their early 20s who boast about dropping multiple tabs of acid as kids and I can't help but find them slightly scrambled. That's why I was asking how it affected you, if at all.

It's interesting you say you'll "never seek that level of vision questing again" when you kind've didn't seek in the first place.

Did you reconcile with religion and Hell? Maybe that's how the idea of this character came about?

I ask that because of the separation you write in that comment between spirituality and religion, given that 'spirit' should be a key component of religious practice, no?

Appreciate you opening up about your trauma and your loss of your brother. That's a huge identity marker and a powerful trauma. Perhaps unwillingly but you've stumbled into a sub where a lot of people vision quest for meaning through traumatic events. You may find some other posts in here help clarify and articulate your vision from 3 decades ago.

I do hope you find the time for that JRE ep! If you search their names you can find snippets of that chat but the whole thing is brilliant. Graeme has written a lot about the Divine in religion and human history (maybe, to your understanding of that word, it's more of an interconnected internal-Divine?) He's also written about Ayahuasca specifically, in a very grounded way because of what he feels it can afford us moving forward.

Either way, thanks for sharing with us curious minds on our own journey of self discovery! For what it's worth, I hope it helps you on yours!