each person's pain is unique and hard, I know. I am bisexual too, though only incidentally heterosexual, and genderfluid and many other things. Identity is complicated. It’s never black and white, and neither is sexuality. I don't know if you'll find any comfort in this, but I realized so many things in 2014: I am confused about sexuality in general and my own sexuality/gender identity, but I am ok with it. I'm ok with it changing. I embraced the fluidity of my person for the first time and I am still a work in progress.
We are ALL works in progress, if you think about it.
I can indeed find comfort in that, yes. I feel that I was getting too focused on having everything figured out, or trying to imagine that I was somehow 'incomplete' until I got there. What you said provided some much-needed counter-balance to that.
For me, I am in a hurtful and confusing place as well, but trying to find my way through the fog.
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you. I mentioned that support chat in my post, maybe that might be something that could help you? Here is some more info on it.
How should you answer people when they ask you? I'd say it depends on who they are and whether or not you feel comfortable with it. Sure, we cannot base everything we do on a level of comfort, because sometimes we have to have those difficult conversations to get the other side - a better side, perhaps - but use your judgment. Start out small with an inner circle, which is sounds like you've done with your immediate family, and expand if you feel you are ready. There is no need to rush your coming out if you feel you are experiencing some confusing and hurtful emotions. You just do it when you’re ready, and we’ll support you whatever you do.
Thank you. :) You know, I am quite confused as to why I am feeling pressure to come out, where that rush is coming from. It doesn't really make any sense.
I just handle each confrontation as they come. It's awkward, yeah, and I've even refused to answer when I knew the person was trying to get a rise out of me and start bullying me. I know it isn't the same as being asked what your sexual orientation is, outright, but it's....well, kinda similar.
Oh my...those social situations do sound terrible. It's really sad that such things happen way too often, especially in the kinds of areas that you mentioned. And to think, that you and I still don't have the short end of the stick, that there are places where things could be so much worse for us...Korrasami was really a necessary culturally thing, like really. It's 2015, its about time things start to change for the better, and all of us are doing just that, in all our little ways.
I cannot have a real answer prepped ahead of time, as a blanket statement or canned response because the vibe I get from each person is unique...does get old, but I learned to go with the flow. I learned to not make a big deal out of it. I answer each inquiry as if it was the first, knowing that, though I've been asked and questioned many times, for them, this is their first encounter with me. Maybe being around me will teach them something, even if it is only for a small encounter. I try to smile at the folks around me and approach the world around me in a gentle manner, knowing that there are still many things that I don't know about me. And for me and the place I'm in right now, that is ok.
You are a very kind and sensible person. That is a beautiful way to look at this, and also a good approach to it. I shall try and follow it myself as well.
The other day I attempted to show a complete stranger a picture on my phone, and when I closed my app and my Korrasami wallpaper showed up, my kneejerk reaction was to yank my phone back, before I thought on a conscious level, “Wait. WTF am I doing?” before shoving the phone back at him lol.
Yeah, I did that a few times too with my own phone, haha. I started noticing that after I read your comment, and I have since then started to not do that.
I have to go through those weird, sometimes uncomfortable and sometimes wonderful conversations and encounters because for every bad one, a thousand more amazing ones are in store, I know. It’s worth it :)
I know now too. This conversation, and you, are proof of that. :)
Have a wonderful day, CheeseSharp!